MEMOIRS OF ASYRAF

And say (O Muhammad ) "Do deeds! Allah will see your deeds, and (so will) His Messenger and the believers. And you will be brought back to the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen. Then He will inform you of what you used to do."
At-taubah verse 105

I used to think that what makes a successful person lies in his motivations. True. But more precisely, believe what drives that motivation is his will, for what he wants to do, what he want to become in life. We see kids running by. And it hits us when all of us had experience that time in our life. Where one would shout out dreams loudly. Without shame, without hesitation. Naive, but still, with plenty of determinations. Plenty of will. A burning heart that is ready to burn anything..

To graduate from high school, graduate from campus life. Get a job, get a car, get a house, get married, have myself a family on my own. This is how most ordinary people would walk their life.. And what will come after all those things? Do you want to walk that same road and end your life just as anybody else? Or do you want something more? Do you want to be extraordinary?

As for me, I have nothing to hide about my aims, my dreams.. We all have our specialties. I'm just a guy that is trying to maximally benefit his. To be special the way he is..

Still a long way to go before I can become a true motivator. A true da'i whom is able to touch hearts with words.. I've came a long way.. And for how far I've came, I wish to keep going.. Keep dreaming, keep working for that one day.. And with this much effort to offer, humbly, faithfully, hoping for Allah blessings...

I'll be there.. I want to play that role.. I'll be delivering one very soon InsyaAllah....

The world is experiencing globalization. An era where pluralism creeps it way into the hearts of the new generations. What does being a Muslim means to you? How do you value it's teaching? Ever believed that faith were able to changed one's life?

Have you ever heard the story of Umar Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him). How different he were before and after accepting Islam. He was a man of fearless courage and determination, feared and respected in Makkah, and until then a bitter opponent of the new religion. It was revealed that the Prophet once raised his hands in prayer and said : "O Allah! Give strength to Islam especially through either of two men you love more : 'Umar bin Al-Khattab or Abu Jahl bin Hasyim" Umar merited that privilage. From there, various contradictory emotions were conflicting with one another in his soul. His heart hangs in the balance between good and evil. On one hand, he persisted in his violence against the believers, and on the other, greatly admired the stamina of the Muslim and their dedication to faith. However, the deep-seated dark tradition and blind pride left by his forefathers overshadowed the truth he felt inside him. He was constantly denying it.

It was not long after which he embraced Islam. Though once a arch-enemy of The Prophet Muhammad SAW and his strife in the way of the call, he made himself real triumph for the cause. Crowned to become the second "Amirul Mukminin" after the Muhammad SAW passed away. And if it wasn't for his great respect for Abu bakar As-Siddiq (May Alllah be pleased with him) who had accepted the faith before him, he was to be crowned the first to lead the muslims. Notice how Islam honoured him. Notice how Islam affected him. Between the two names that the Prophet mentioned in his prayers, Allah answered by his Guidance upon him.

Have you ever heard the story of Zahir bin Haram. A bedouin with extreme poverty having neither whealth nor good-lookings. Once the Prophet SAW saw Zahir in the marketplace selling his merchandise and hugged him from behind. Zahir became scared and began shouting "let me go! Who is this?". But upon seeing the Prophet behind him, he became calm. So the prophet began to joke with him by saying to the public "Who would buy this servant!? Who will buy him!?" Thereupon Zahir pictured himself and felt sad. He then said "You will find be unmarketable, O Messenger of Allah." In reply, the Prophet SAW said sweetly "But you are not so with Allah. You are very precious to Him"

Try to imagine, a bedouin without whealth and good-lookings. The Prophet loved him for who he were as a believer. He faith granted him rank in the sight of Allah. In our case, how much blessings had Allah granted us. Someone with a home to live, with delicious meals waiting on the dining table every night. With nice clothing to wear. With educations ever since we were little. Yet somehow we will unappreciative of ourselve. Cursing our short-comings and moaning to be someone else. Someone we're not. We wish to have greater properties, bigger incomes, and better incomes. When the only thing we need to be precious to Allah is to believe and turn it to an act of Workship. Live the way Allah have told us to. Enjoy your life for it is brief and there is no time in it to be anguish.

As Muslims, do believe that we are always special. We all are. Of course life had never been sugars and rainbows. We had our setbacks. Unorganized, failure to commit, tight career schedule, too busy studying, unsupportive surroundings, negative assumptions, uncertainties, families even womens. Tested upon our weakest attribute in the weakest possible conditions. Somehow still able to be steadfast in this path. When smiles are turned to frowns. cheerfullness to depression, and perseverence to anger, whether to endure, or ease away, one would forever be in a state of choices.

Rombongan percutian dah nak bertolak dari gulogor ke bukit mertajam. Dalam percutian inilah kali pertama aku menjejakkan kaki ke pulau-pinang setelah peristiwa hitam yang berlaku pada kami 10 tahun yang lepas. Hari sebelumnya, jalan-jalan di sekitar bandar hari itu terlalu banyak mengimbas kembali kenangan dua setengah tahun aku hidup di pulau mutiara. Kedai makan nasi kandar yang kami sekeluarga selalu jamu. Kedai "anikawan" tempat aku dan abang membeli komik "dragon ball". Klinik Gigi Gelugor. Segala-segalanya terimbas kembali. Seolah-olah kehidupan kami di sini terasa baru sahaja ditinggalkan semalam. Di kesempatan sebelum berangkat meninggalkan Georgetown, perasaan aku kuat untuk sekurang-kurangnya melihat rumah lamaku di Minden Heights.

Kebetulan rumah Iqbal yang kami singgah ketika itu berada sangat dekat dengan kawasan rumah lama. Aku minta bantuan seorang sahabat yang menaiki motor ketika itu, oden untuk hantarkan aku ke sana. Jalan Changkat Jering. Betul-betul berada bersebelahan dengan pintu gate 3 usm. Jalan Changkat Jering memanjang. Sesudah belok ke jalan itu, aku tercari-cari di mana rumah lama aku yang dulu. Jauh ke depan tetap tidak jumpa. Mencapai telefon bimbit dalam poket mendial nombor ibu. Sebenarnya kami dah terlepas rumah. Rumah nombor 63. Tiba depan rumah, masyaAllah. Lain sungguh rupa rumah kami. Kini sudah diduduki orang. Pokok jambu depan rumah tiga tingkat itu sudah ditebang. Warga gate yang dulunya warna-warni dah di cat merah. Mungkin taman belakang rumah yang kami sekeluarga bermain-main pun sudah diubah-suai. Teringat dulu macam mana adik-adik terkejar-kejar keluar untuk dapatkan ayah bila kereta mercedesnya masuk ke tempat letak kereta dalam rumah.

Ibu pesan untuk singgah ke rumah jiran kami, Uncle Zul dan Aunty Sufi. Segan tetapi dalam masa yang lama seronok. Lama tidak bersua dengan mereka. Uncle Zul dan Aunty Sufi lah yang selalu membantu kami dulu. Bila-bila kami terasa sedih dengan perbuatan-perbuatan ayah, uncle zul dan aunty sufi ada untuk berikan kami nasihat dan kata-kata semangat. Tidak seperti rumah kami, rumah mereka sekeluarga tidak banyak yang berubah.

Assalammualaikum diberi dari luar. Sahutan di dengar dan kedengaran suara uncle zul menyambut ketibaan ku.

"Waalaikumsalam, asyraf ke tu?" Sahut uncle Zul dari dalam

Ibuku sudah pun memaklumkan kedatangan aku ke rumah mereka. Insan itu sudah kelihatan berumur. Hampir-hampir tidak aku kenal lagi. Senyuman mengiringi sapaannya sebagaimana seorang ayah menyambut seorang anak yang terpisah jauh bertahun-tahun, baru sahaja pulang semula ke rumah. Kami dipertemukan semula setelah berapa lama tidak menatap muka. Berpelukan mesra. Selama ini hanya bertanya khabar dan mengirim salam melalui telefon. Di ruang tamu rumah kami minum bersama. Berborak-borak tentang kisah baru dan lama.

"So you are a doctor now.. You and aizat are both becoming successful"
Kata uncle Zul.
"Masih banyak yang perlu kami kejar uncle.. Saya x grad pun lagi. InsyaAllah, kami sentiasa usahakan apa yang boleh"
Aku membalas sambil tersenyum malu

"Aunty dengar banyak tentang asyraf dari ibu. Kata ibu asyraf ada semangat tinggi. Kata nak jadi psychiatrist?" Kata aunty Sufi
"Xtau la aunty sama ada dapat jadi ke x.." Balasku sambil ketawa

"Your mother is very proud of you. Dan Aunty yakin ayah asyraf pun sama. Dia sayangkan asyraf 4 beradik. Lepas dah tengok asyraf ngan aizat berjaya, mesti dia ada menyesal dengan keputusan dia dulu"
"Biasa la aunty, semua orang buat silap.. Tapi saya x pernah benci dia. Saya tetap sayangkan dia sebagai seorang ayah. Dan saya selalu pandang tinggi kepada usaha-usaha dia. Macammana dia capai apa yang dia capai, its amazing.."

Pertemuan semula kami terpaksa dipendekkan apabila telefonku berdering. Rombongan percutian kami dah nak bergerak dan cuma tinggal menunggu kami. Walau hati terasa berat, aku terpaksa meminta diri. Uncle Zul dan Aunty Sufi memberikan nasihat terakhir. Kami berpelukkan dan aku pun melangkah ke luar gate rumah. Langkah yang diiringi air mata yang mengalir tampa kerelaan aku. MasyaAllah, sungguh indah pertemuan ini.

Tiba semula kami ke rumah Iqbal, perjalanan diteruskan.. Kami meninggalkan pulau pinang. Sepanjang perjalanan atas jambutan, aku merenung jauh ke laut biru. Keseorangan. Hilang dalam dunia sendiri..

Tentunya perasaan meninggalkan pulau-pinang hari tu tidak sama. Dahulunya ditinggalkan dalam kesusahan. Kesedihan demi kesedihan yang ibu rasakan di sana. Lewat suatu hari, selepas membuat laporan polis, ibu membawa kami empat beradik berpindah ke kuala lumpur tampa pengetahuan ayah. Siri demi seri perlawanan di mahkamah atas hak penjagaan pun berlalu. Hinggakan kami ditanyakan hakim seorang demi seorang dengan siapakah kami mahu dijaga? Tentu sahaja jawab kami berempat ibu. Kehidupan di kuala lumpur pun bermula. Aku memperkenalan diri sebagai aliff, bukan lagi asyraf seperti panggilan kawan-kawanku semasa bersekolahan di Pulau Pinang dahulu.

Satu persinggahan yang terlalu singkat. Dalam persinggah itu aku perkenangkan semula semuanya..

Kadang-kadang, dalam belajar dan bekerja di sini, aku hanyut dibawa arus yang semakin laju. Tanggungjawab semakin besar. Semakin jauh perjalanan kita, semakin banyak cabaran yang mengiringi. Perlu sentiasa mengigatkan diri yang aku punyai matlamat yang perlu aku capai. Baik jangka masa pendek, jangka masa sederhana mahupun jangka masa panjang. Jika diizinkan tuhan untuk dipanjangkan umur, perjalanan ini masih jauh. Hidup akan semakin sukar dan menggeringkan. Masih banyak yang perlu dikejarkan. Masih banyak yang perlu dicapai. Jauh sudah aku memanjat. Dan aku ingin terus memanjat. Dalam satu pendakian yang tiada kelihatan puncaknya. Sehingga akhirnya, dalam pendakian itu, kita temui perkara yang paling kita mahukan dalam hidup. Segala-galanya atas diri. Beserta usaha dan doa mengiringi. Semoga kita bertemu..
Amin

Rasulullah SAW bersabda
"Yang terbaik antara kamu adalah yang terbaik kepada keluarga, dan aku adalah yang terbaik daripada kamu kepada keluargaku"
(al-Tirmidhi dan Ibnu Majah)