The story of a lecturer, and a thankful son

This is one weird post seriously

Yeah, i know its not father's day, my father's birthday or anything
Just seem to wanna write bout him
Probably because of the fact that im going home in a few days and i cant help thinking tat im getting the chance to meet him again... hopefully, if he drop by from kota kinabalu to kuala lumpur for work trip that is... Anyway, he will be coming here for raya so basicly i have nothing to worry bout..
Ok, so that was i bit out of the track
back to the topic!!
I promise you that this wont be just a story bout him

Every moment and then, when im all alone in my room, even when im walking solely down the street, I tend to think of father
I wonder how me and him are alike
Mom use to say that i really2 resemble him
In terms of look and personality
More than my older brother do
Even my siblings think so too

I remember when i was in form 4 living a new hostel life in school
Brother was busy with his campus life in UiTM so we didn't get to see each other for awhile
Everytime i was home he couldn't be there and the same thing happen when he came back.. Each of us lived our own life and responsibility
A normal thing
What wasn't normal was that the one day he came visiting me at school with mom
Mom said, he said
" ibu, sape tu? ayah ke?"

Hahahaha, ok, so tats was amuzing. I coudn't stop smiling hearing mom telling the story..
Of course, he didnt know tat i know he said tat
So i guess i really do look a lot like dad........
I really should have a picture with him

However, when it came to looks... im not really bothered actually
Wat i am concern with is how i act a lot like him
Like any other kid, I inherited a few of his specialities and shortcomings
I really do wanna be like him but i don't wanna be like him

My father is one of the best lecture
i ever known. And im not just saying it becoz his my dad. I heard a lot of positive things bout him from his students which i happen to befriends with.
Knowing this, with every single word i speak at front... during debates or simple presentations, i imagine his charisma and in turn try to have some his inside of me...

He's a sportman.. Well not tat active becoz he only plays golf if you know wat i mean.. I still think tat golf is a boring thing. However, regardless of the sports, he puts in every effort, every game plan, and every desire to win... Once he gets into gear there no turning back for him in giving everything...
So with every game ball i bounce, and every game ball i kick, i imagine this determination of his, and in turn try to have a mindset similar to it

He's a loving man... No matter what people say bout him with his move to sabah, i can understand he did it for the best of his family... In his heart, all he want to see is his children succeed. I had always dream that one day, there will be a moment where he will properly acknowledge me.
With every textbook page i flick, and every words of knowledge i read, i imagine his smile... And the hope he has in me..

As any other human being, he did made some wrong decisions in life...
Thinking of it, sometimes, i feel sad... i feel hate... But mostly, i feel confused.. Why dad why??? As i grow up, i begin to unite the pieces together and understand things myself..
Deep down i realized, everything happened for a reason... What i can only hope for is to not make the same mistake he did... Im scared really....

The man called a father. We all have one no matter among the livings, or among the deads. They love us for who we are no matter if we are proud respected doctors, nor do we live as low living thieves. We all have our own reasons in studies and we all have our own parents personality, and responsibility to carry. So as long as we live in the struggle for true glory.. Always...... fight for it.....

Home is on its way... To my fellow medical students in egypt, give a big hug to our oldman
Though it may seem a bit funny... Say this to him....

p/s : cant wait to be a father and have my own children... so i can raise him the way he raised me. Well, i have to get married first of coz.... Hmmmm, juz counting my days... :P ( joking )

Study for GRANTED

Aku betul-betul x sangka... Aku xtau apa yang aku makan hari sebelum tu.. Pagi tu perut rasa xsedap... Dah buang air sakit lagi.. Perut dah kosong tapi still rasa contraction dalam intestine.. Kuat sungguh.. Ya Allah, sakitnya!! Setiap kali 10-15 min terpaksa ke bilik air.. kaki ngan badan jadi lemah.. mungkin sebab hilang banyak sangat sodium.. Dari pagi ke malam aku terasa x selesa.. Esok kena amik exam Anatomy!

Ikut nasihat housemate..
"Jangan paksa gak utk study, biar baik betul dulu.. Klau x lagi teruk.. X leh nak amik exam esok..."
Sepanjang hari tu aku x dapat nak bukak buku. Tersidai kat atas katil sepanjang masa tahan sakit.. Malam aku harapkan baik sikit.. Tambah teruk lagi.. Badan plak rasa nak demam...

Aku : Aku dah x tahan aa... Tolong belikan aku ubat anti-spasm.. Antibiotic sekali... Sakit giler! Risau aku x amik exam esok...

Waktu ni aku dah x kisah dah klau x bukak buku.. Fikir nak datang exam je camne.. Fikir cmne nak tahan sakit selama 2 jam setengah jawab exam... Makan ubat, klau x sembuh terus pun, harap2 boleh jawab insyaAllah..

Lepas dapat ubat tu, aku makan, rasa lega skit... Alhamdulillah
Pagi esoknya sakit masih rasa lagi... Tapi dah kurang.. Dapat jugak aku datang jawab exam anat.. Syukur sangat2

Apa yg aku nak tulis ni sebenarnya bukanlah nak cerita yg aku sakit... Cuma nak sampaikan kat sini yg sungguh aku menyesal.. Menyesal sebab x prepare betul2 awal2.. Menyesal sebab x sentiasa doakan kesihatan yg baik untuk jawab exam.. Menyesal klau aku x dapat result yg elok...

Ada kalanya kita akan fikir, bila dah rasa x semangat nak study...
"xpe. esok boleh baca lagi.."
"study malam ni la, x leh nak fokus... Malam selesa skit..."
Aku x terlepas daripada golongan tu

Sungguh, kesihatan dan konsentrasi tu datangnya dari ALLAH..
Selagi kita ada kesihatan/kekuatan untuk ulangkaji pelajaran.. Jalankanlah tanggungjawab ni ngan sungguh-sungguh.. Rajinkan diri bila kita rasa malas, fokuskan diri bila kita rasa x fokus..
Sebab kita xkan tau bila kita akan sakit.. Sampai bila kita akan dapat nikmat keselasaan utk study.. Bila-bila masa sahaja ALLAH boleh tarik balik..
Sakit tu sendiri plak kita xleh nak jadikan alasan untuk x skor.. Sebab kita dah diberi masa panjang sebelum ni untuk study.. Sakit atau x, jangan sesekali kita berenti berusaha...

Syukurilah nikmat kesihatan yang kita ada sekarang dan gunakanlah sebaiknya...
Never take Study for granted

Selamat Study
Bil Taufiq Wa Najah