When Two World Collides

''قادر عل الكسب’’ Self-reliant. Being able to live without depending on others. The ability to take care of one-self when in distance with his families. Clothing, food, work and studies. To solve problem of their own. To make decisions of their own. To able to generate money of his own. Chasing success and benefiting others. Self-reliant as we know is own of the 10 characters of a successful Muslim everyone must fulfil. However, self-reliant can signifies way much more than we imagined. It is not just about living matters. But it includes ones identity. The way of life and self-integrity. As the plants need soil, water and sunlight to grow, we all need an encouraging surrounding for self-building. But when the surroundings gets tough, when Islam and its values are strangers to the people. Or when it teachings are known but left forgotten and abandoned. Self-reliant means he is not the one influenced, yet he is influencing.

The culture in Egypt :

Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah. The most gracious and most merciful. Alhamdulillah Egypt has been kind to host Islam in the hearts of its people. Most obvious during the month of ramadhan. The Quran is a culture. It is not weird to see people reciting in the public. Where the adhans are heard all around the neighborhood. And the nearby mosque is never too far from a walking distance to reach. This nation is rich in Islamic values. Unselfish and friendly. Living their live for the good of others. Though it is true that not all Egyptian are of this quality. Some of them only live with Islam in rituals. But never to be denied, its teachings are raised high. Deeply embedded in their belief. Egypt as we know is the land that gave birth to arguably the most biggest Islamic movement in the 19th Century. ‘’The Brotherhood of Islam’’ or better known as ‘’Ikhwanul Muslimin’’. A land where prophet Musa, Harun, Yusoff, Soleh were send. The land that recently gave birth the man who ‘’rock the cradle’’ with Islam. The man who strikes fear in the hearts of the west. His name is Al-Imam Hassan Al-Banna. Notice that this very land have been praised in the Quran :

آمِنِينَ اللَّهُ شَاءَ إِنْ مِصْرَ ادْخُلُوا وَقَالَ أَبَوَيْهِ إِلَيْهِ آوَى يُوسُفَ عَلَى دَخَلُوا فَلَمَّا
Then, when they came in before Yusuf (Joseph), he took his parents to himself and said: “Enter Egypt, if Allah wills, in security.”
(Yusoff verse 99)

Egypt is a blessed soil that breeds Islam in people from all over the world. Our Malaysian student community has benefit greatly from this fertile environment. Absorbing Islamic values and custom. Somehow, it makes learning Islam, and the effort to be a better person much easier. An advantage that our communities in Malaysia do not taste. And we all know the importance of a supportive environment.

‘’The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger’’
(At-Tawbah verse 71)

’The Prophet SAW Said : A believer is a mirror to other believers’’
(Reported by Abu Daw’ud)
The Silent Assassin

Approach and come closer. Take a look at reality. Slowly this healthy environment is being taken away from us. A smooth criminal. A silent assassin.

It is not strange no more to see two people of the opposite gender walking together. Sitting closely to one another. Enjoying their time in cafes, parks and along the beach. When the boys prefer to pray at home rather than having to walk a few steps to the mosque nearby. And the girls prefer more stylish dressing without covering properly. When entertainments exceeds the normal dosage. And people prefer hanging out with friends outside rather than attending religious classes. When selfish breeds into the society. And people become more unfriendly. Diseases in our own people all of our own doing.

Make no mistake my friends. If we are not careful enough, the community and culture we are so proud of may become no different than the community in Malaysia. We are experiencing normalization between Malaysia and Egypt. Egypt may one day no longer be known to bring back good people to the country. It seems that we are being influenced by negative values and action, instead of influencing. So where have ‘’قادر عل الكسب’’ been?

''And spend in the way of Allah and do not throw [yourselves] with your [own] hands into destruction [by refraining]. And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good''
Al-Baqarah verse 195

yet it all pass by unnotice

Syiah Itu Agama, Bukan Mazhab daripada Islam

Antara bukti kesesatan Syiah :
Agama Syiah mengkafirkan para pembesar sahabat secara umum. Pengkafiran ini boleh dilihat dalam kitab-kitab besar Syiah yang ditulis oleh ulama mereka, contohnya ialah wasiat para ulama mereka:

1. Abu Ja'far berkata:
"Semua manusia (kaum muslimin Ahli Sunnah wal-Jamaah) menjadi Ahli Jahiliyah (kafir/murtad setelah kewafatan Rasulullah) kecuali empat orang, Ali, Miqdad, Salman dan Abu Dzar".

2. Al-Kulaini mensifatkan Abu Bakar, 'Umar dan 'Uthman telah terkeluar dari kalangan orang yang beriman (murtad/kafir) lantaran tidak melantik Ali sebagai khalifah setelah Rasulullah sallallahu 'alaihi wa-sallam wafat.

Malah al-Kulaini mengkafirkan seluruh penduduk Mekkah dan Madinah. Menurut Kulaini:

"Penduduk Madinah lebih buruk dari penduduk Mekkah dan penduduk Mekkah telah kufur kepada Allah dengan terang-terang".
Al-Kulaini juga menetapkan dalam kitabnya al-Kafi:

"Sesiapa yang tidak beriman kepada Imam Dua Belas maka dia adalah kafir walaupun dia keturunan Ali atau Fatimah".

3. Al-Majlisi seorang ulama besar Syiah menegaskan:

“Bahawa mereka (Abu Bakar, 'Umar dan 'Uthman) adalah pencuri yang khianat dan murtad, keluar dari agama, semoga Allah melaknat mereka dan semua orang yang mengikut mereka dalam kejahatan mereka, sama ada orang dahulu atau orang-orang kemudian".

Budak Ali bin Husin berkata:

"Saya pernah bertanya kepada Ali bin Husin tentang Abu Bakar dan 'Umar. Maka dia menjawab: Keduanya kafir dan sesiapa yang mencintainya juga kafir".

4. Abu Basir (ulama Syiah) menegaskan:

"Sesungguhnya penduduk Mekkah telah kufur kepada Allah secara terang-terang dan penduduk Madinah lebih buruk dari penduduk Mekkah, lebih buruk tujuh puluh kali dari penduduk Mekkah".

Demikianlah kenyataan, fatwa, kepercayaan, pandangan dan tuduhan jahat para ulama Syiah terhadap Ahli Sunnah wal-Jamaah sama ada terhadap ulama atau orang awamnya

Ayuh Sepakat Menolak Syiah!


Verily, Allah the Most Wise have fated us to live in this age. An age testifying ‘Jahiliyyah’ reigns over all corners of the world.  An age witnessing the disbelievers prevails in their ambition to topple over the caliph and discard all traces of its history. As a matter of a fact, they succeeded to isolate Islam from functioning and playing its role in humanity. Our enemies have westernize our children and distance them from commitment towards their faith, except very few of those who are loved by Allah, among the righteous, steadfast and true.
           Every Moslem who is aware and concern will admit that Islam, at this particular moment is at its most critical phase it has seen. They are aware that they are stuck in a long and fierce battle with their greatest enemies. They are aware on treats outside and inside their own people. Every Moslem who is alert and sensitive will agree and acknowledges on this truth.
          Among us we see a majority of people who are not aware and neglectful. They do not accept the fact that truth and falsehood will forever collide. The clash between the believers and disbelievers will forever exist.

Verily Allah has mentioned in the Holy Quran :

‘’Rather, We dash the truth upon falsehood, and it destroys it, and thereupon it departs. And for you is destruction from that which you describe.’’
Al-Anbiya Verse 18

What we fail to realize
           In truth we must accept that we live in a time where Islam is being ruled over by the west. In a way that is subtle and tricky. Islam at this particular age is down, beaten and bleeding at its extreme. We see the enemies announce their ambition to oppose the Moslem openly, without needing to hide, without fear. Among the true believers, they face threats coming from every corners, all directions. Look closely and we see mast killing in Palestine. We see liberalism, pluralism, and secularism creeps into the Moslem society. When our people are busy fighting among ourselves on who is right and who is wrong.

A condition similar to what is mentioned by Prophet SAW :

"There will come a time when nations fear you like raiding dishes, God will lift the hearts of your enemies from fear and throw against you weakness in your hearts." Someone asked: Is it because of our small number at that time, O Messenger of Allah? The Prophet said: "No, at that very time you are big in number, but you are just like the foams on the sea.’’ Someone asked: What are the weaknesses, O Messenger of Allah? Prophet said: "The love of the world and fear of death."

           Iran stands to defend Syiah. The west defends Christianity and Israel defends the Jews. Who will stand up for the Moslem?
           The insensitive will remain ignorance. Not rattled by dangers and warnings that lurks around them. Those faithful slowly lose hope. Defenceless, slowly, we lower our head in shame towards the enemies.

Why do we care?
     Those who make effort to strengthen the ‘Ummah’ are not many. These people work hard to potentiate the rise of the ‘Ummah’ and open its eyes in its deep illusion. To warn against ruins of they own doing. Only those who are alert and aware will bear to carry this responsibility.  They are steadfast and firm in the middle of people who live without a stand. Patience and steady in the mist of people who are trembling. Brave when all others fear. Awake when all others are trapped in deep slumbers. They force a way when all others oppose them. Optimistic when all others lost hope.
 These are people mentioned in the Holy Quran :

‘’Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allah . Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration’’
Al-Ahzaab 23

         These are men inspired by words of the Prophet SAW when he was offered wealth, and rank by the disbelievers in Mecca in return for a cessation of preaching towards Islam. He replied with these famous words written in history :

"By Allah, if they put the sun in my right hand and the moon on my left for me to leave this matter, I shall not, until Allah wins it, or I shall perish in defending it.’’

         So we call to those who wish for a change and serious for some repairs, possess faith and awareness, will and determination, vision and confidence to incline towards this small group of people described before. Verily, this road leads to a sure and guaranteed end. It will inspire glory, triumph and the best possible result. Islam will stand above all others as promised by Allah. Either triumph by our own hand, or others. So why not make ourselves a factor in its glory? Will you seat by seeing others claim the honour?

‘’They want to extinguish the light of Allah with their mouths, but Allah refuses except to perfect His light, although the disbelievers dislike it.’’
At-Tawbah verse 32

The Outcome
         To people who are steadfast and patience, we call for them to plunge into the battlefield armed with the Holy Quran and its light that lit the darkest of night. Every situation analysed and internalized with facts and truth from its teachings.

Struggles starts with faith. Only for those who are aware..

Membina Keluarga Beragenda

kegembiraan paling tinggi semasa balik kampung raya tahun ini ialah apabila kami sekeluarga dapat solat berjemaah bersama-sama.. tak tergambar perasaan di hati selepas selesai memberi salam, membaca doa, dan kami bersalaman penuh kasih sayang.. sebelum ini masing-masing lebih gemar solat bersendirian.. sekarang solat berjemaah sudah lebih kerap termasuk subuh.. satu perubahan.. usrah kecil bersama dengan adik-adik pun dah dapat dibuat.. maka dengan serba sedikit pendedahanku di Mesir dan kekuatan yang aku kumpulkan di sana akan ku pimpin keluarga ini.. selagi ada kudrat dan masa bersama mereka.. menjadikan kepulangan seribu satu makna.. ^_^

يأيها الذين ءامنوا قوا أنفسكم وأهليكم نارً
Wahai orang beriman, jagalah diri kamu dan ahli keluarga kamu daripada api neraka (At-Tahrim ayat 6) terangi Nur-Mu atas keluarga ini

Ya Allah.. dan janganlah kau sesatkan kami setelah memberikan kami petunjuk

Selamat Hari Raya
Maaf Zahir Batin
Taqabbalahhu Minna Wa Minkum

terima kasih

27 malam dalam ramadan sudah pun berlalu
Moga-moga ramadan di Mesir ini telah dapat aku manfaatkan sepenuhnya. Mengharapkan diri semakin dekat dengan Ilahi. Panggilan pulang sudah tiba setelah 1 tahun setengah lamanya..

terima kasih mesir kerana telah banyak mengajar aku dalam banyak perkara. Terima kasih kerana telah menjadikan diri aku lebih sempurna.. tahun yang paling banyak cabaran, dugaan dan pengajaran berbanding tahun-tahun sebelum ini.. dalam segala kesusahan, dan dalam segala kegembiraan..

dari segi keputusan peperiksaan mungkin tidaklah sehebat orang lain.. tidaklah sehebat dulu.. tetapi dari segi lain dah banyak lagi benda yang aku terima.. banyak lagi benda untuk digembirakan.. Alhamdulillah atas segalanya..

akan pulang semula dengan semangat yang baru dan lebih kuat dalam bidang medik, lebih jauh dalam bidang tarbiyyah dan dakwah insyaAllah


Seronok tengok ikhwah seluruh dunia berbincang, bekerja dan bergerak dalam intonasi yang sama. Betullah takrifan Imam Hassan Al-Banna dalam mendefinisikan kekuatan
1) Iman dan Taqwa
2) Wehdah (kesatuaan) atau Ukhuwwah
3) Barulah senjata

Motivasi di kala kepenatan dan jawapan bagi segala kerisauan
Kekuatan itu ada
Bila Allahu Ghayahtuna mengatasi segala-galanya

''Kekuatan itu hanyalah bagi Allah, bagi Rasul, dan bagi orang-orang Mukmin''

 (Sebahagian daripada Ikhwah-Ikhwah Alex yang dikasihi)

Membangun Umat Beragenda 
Melayu Sepakat Islam Berdaulat

Bergerak dan terus bergerak

Just another troublesome kid

I remember when I was young
Perhaps, I was the most hardest of my siblings to handle
The one that cause mom most of her troubles

I remember when I was in nursery school
Mom had to wait outside the classroom door the entire learning hour
Had she move one step away, I would be crying and the teachers couldn't do a thing
the only cure for me was for her to be back

I remember when I was standard four and refuse to go to school
Mom dragged me in the car by force and sent me in front of the school gate
She waited for me to step in school and start class
Yet there I was running away
She had to chase me back and had no choice but to bring me along with her to work

I remember when I was in form 1
Had my leg broke
Wearing a cast for 5 weeks long
She had to wait outside of school and pick me up everyday
Still I took my sweet time enjoying life after school hours with friends
Being late to show up in front of the school gate

I smoked once.. Being involve in a gang fight

Things I did was frustrating
The burden I place was suffocating
Things to embarrassing, to shameful to tell
She was a single mom and worked a full-time job
Having four children going to four different schools
Still manage to cook and pick her children home
Yet I had never been the best of son to her
Even being all grown up behaving more or less the same

Just another child imperfect and full of sins
I'm sorry for the way I was, and the way I am
Forever trying to be the person you want me to be
In the end, just another troublesome kid =(

Towards a Successful Doctor and Daie

And they though it way easy

There is this story about a man name Hasan Ath-Thawil, who was a farmer, registering his name as a volunteer in an expedition to war against Israel. He left behind his family, his farm, and all sort of things he loved in the cause of Allah. And not only that, he even sold his buffalo (which is for a farmer considered as an asset to trade in agriculture) to buy weapon in terms to defend the holy land of Palestina. When Ahmad Al- Abbas the district chief said : O Hasan, leave the buffalo for your family, you have enough sacrifice yourself and putting your life on the line. It is the duty of others who do not struggle with his life to carry out sacrifice in terms of properties.

Hasan being someone who really understands the religion answered : Didn't Allah Almighty mention in the Quran :

''strive with your wealth and your lives in the way of Allah''

did you ever forget about the verse :

"Verily Allah have purchased from the believers, themselves and their property by providing heaven for them. "(At-Tawbah: 111)

Do you mean we will gain something without paying the price?

* In times I have been struck by dilemma.. to learn more about Islam, and give in more towards it teaching or commit more in terms of academics. I have always been on the back foot ever since I got to know its importance.. Feels like compared to anyone else, I still have so much to learn and improve.. I want to learn more, and work more for the good of others. Especially the ones I love. But at the same instance, It is also a must for me to be excellent in studies. To be a medical student and doctor people looked up too. At time when I was doing well in ''tarbiyyah & dakwah'', my studies let me down. At time when I was outstanding in my studies, 'tarbiyyah & dakwah' seems a little lacking.. if only one could be excellent in everything that easy.. For every good things there will always be prices to pay. Towards a successful doctor and daie..

little things we overlook

What have I been doing all this time? with everything that happened last semester, with my personal problem and all.. 3 whole month of not being able to fully focus on my studying.. after finally getting a grip on things, I was studying for my own survival, studying to ensure at the very least, I will not have myself repeating any subject.. I gave it my all with what I have left to work for.. Without omitting every other commitments with the effort it deserve.. To the extend I neglect matters that should be fulfill to people around.. Seems that I failed dearly in my role to the society

For sure it was my worse semester ever.. The one that was doing quite ok in term of his academics had fall so far.. And somehow on this very day, the results was announced, and with God's permission I was able to pass.. thankful nevertheless, but looking across the sheets displeased me.. some of my batch-mates did not enjoy the same merit others are having.. How do it feel to see everyone else celebrating with their friends and families upon success that they achieve and you, left alone wandering when did everything went wrong.. A feeling I had never experienced myself so I can't really picture the real story.. For what I can say for a brief moment, my heart was singing out loud in pleasure but my soul was grieving in anguish.. It's not a matter about who is close to you and who are not.. Those are people seating among you in class.. Wanting the same achievement you do.. Working maybe twice as hard as you.. To think that it only hit me when things had already happened.. Guess I can only look forward and hope for some redemption in the mistakes I had done..

It's time we understand the true meaning of what the prophet SAW said :  ''A mosleem to a mosleem are similar to a building structure, keep on supporting one another after them''. Rasulullah SAW also mentioned that : ''Those (mosleem) who are not concerned about others, do not belong to them'' Time we care about all the little things we overlook. Little things that pass unnoticed.. You can't do everything but you can always do something.. Rasulluh said : ''If you can't do everything, don't leave everything'' Time to work more for the sake of others, without leaving what you have to achieve yourself..


biarlah sejauh mana aku usaha, setinggi mana semangat, sekuat mana kemahuan, akhirnya, orang yang menerima didikan, asuhan, fikrah dan suasana islamik yang baik dan lengkap sejak kecil akan terus ada kelebihan dan terus ke depan dalam jalan tarbhiah dan dakwah.. asalkan dia faham sebetul-betulnya dan mahu terus berada pada jalan ini. Golongan ini ini terus bekerja, berdakwah dan mentarbhiah diri mereka menjadi hebat. Sedangkan aku yang serba sederhana latar belakangnya, serba kurang dari segenap aspek yang lainnya, terus mengayuh dari belakang tetapi jarak orang depan terlalu jauh.. malah, kadang-kala bukan semakin dekat, tetapi semakin ketinggalan.. padanlah dengan nasib, salah diri sendiri yang tidak terbuka hati untuk mencari dan memahami agama ini lebih awal.. faham sefaham-fahamnya makna kehidupan.. terus terasa kerdil, terus terasa kurang.. walau dahulunya aku yakin kalau benar-benar diberikan usaha yang terbaik, benar-benar diletakkan semangat, benar-benar dikejar, maka satu hari nanti dengan izin Tuhan akan akan jadi sehebat mereka.. tetapi gagal juga yang aku temu.. prinsip pun semakin terhakis, kepercayaan pun semakin pudar.. dan setiap kali aku mengenangkan kekurangan diri, air mata pun mula mengalir laju.. tidak pernah terbayang akan diri suatu hari nanti, aku akan menangis atas jalan tarbiyyah dan dakwah.. jadi apa maknanya disebalik aku mencuba?? apa maknya di sebalik setiap kesusahan? apa makna di sebalik pengorbanan? bila matlamat semustahil pencapaian.. kerana waktu terus tidak memberi izin.. diminta tunggu dan mendaki perlahan-perlahan.. sejarah diri pun terus menghukum.. jadi kenapa perlu beri lebih? kenapa aku perlu aku berlari? kenapa perlu kuat bekerja? sedangkan mereka terus menerus ke tahap yang lain.. lama sudah aku di jalan ini.. mungkinkah segalanya sebuah ujian? perlu ditelan walaupun pahit.. perlu melangkah walaupun terluka.. mungkin akhirnya ada lagi janib imani yang aku perlu belajar dan yakini.. IKHLAS atas wasilah ini..

Between Two Worlds

I haven't been expressing myself for quite awhile now..
Not in a public network at least..

After all this time, I've been picturing myself thinking.. At what point in history that I have been stuck in this kind of life. Well, stuck may not be the proper word to use. To put it in a different way. It's like you've been traveling in a foreign land. Exploring, trying out different things along the journey.. And everything you did came out of pure intention to learn.. Finding one strength and talents to benefit others.. And then suddenly he found himself in a place where he had never been before. Took a short break and started questioning himself.. How, when, or why exactly that I am here in this particular place, and this particular time right now..

I've came a long way.. Memories of mine which is best not remembered.. When all the grudge will just come hunting me again.. How I wish I could erase it all.. Until I came to learn again from A to Z for what is right and wrong in life.. To explore things back to basic.. Until I came to a point that I was able to lead a group of student society.. The feeling of self-fulfillment that I was someone and able to contribute something.. I miss being a student representative.. Saying this after all I said that I was so eagerly wanting to drop it.

Between two worlds is where I need to choose. Between keep on moving forward, or just be satisfy with what I have.. 4th year Medical Student, Alexandria University. I decided to decline any post offered to me in the student organization. Life after being a student representative begins. Sort of awkward at first, but I learned to live a life as a normal student again. No more meeting to attend, no more announcement or speech to make up front. No more virtue to think of. To more projects to lead.. Not in the student organization at least. I was offered chairman of Alex Medical Team and decided kindly to decline it.. It's not like I've been less busier without post. It's just that do not want to work with ranks anymore.. I wish to work in the shadow where nobody would know the things I do. The honour will come from me alone and few other who chose to walk the same path as mine. We share the same ambitions with a way that is a little bit different from others but nevertheless, much needed.

No longer a figure, as for now, I have fully commited myself in 'tarbiah' and 'dakwah'. Two words that had been a stranger to me before.. A different field but way more challenging and dry. I have loss everything.. But at the same time I have also gain everything.. But then again, it has been almost 3 years for me to be involved in it. Am I really worth it to carry the title of a 'daie'. Not too far from now, I will hold the title of 'Naqib'. Someone that will guide someone's live hand to hand. But as for who I am, I know I can't be one just yet. And rightly so, I am not given the responsibility to be one yet.

If I had wanted so, then long that I had volunteered and registered my name to be one with the present student society. But what kind of 'Murabbi' will I be from there. When I can't even give up on movies, video games, and leave all sort of 'jahiliyyah' running inside me, then what would the product of the people under my responsibilities be??

However, I know to be perfect is not obligatory to carry out 'dakwah'. That is the reason that we are in need of 'tarbhiah' or self-building in the first place. Simply for me, to entitle myself as 'Naqib'... then that calls for greater personal. Because we will be playing with hearts. Playing with people's emotions. Between repentance and ignorance. And we would not want to nurture somebody just to a point where he can be call a good person. We would want him to reach a level where he can work and contribute to the good of the society. And this can never be achieved by somebody who is stuck with things that do not merit and somebody who is constantly draining in his sins..

3 years long it had been since I have surrendered myself to be build and improved by 'tarbiah'. It has taken me far. The only thing left to ponder is can I take myself further in its way. I have seen the outcome of it in many others before me. When one does not even bother himself in unrewarding entertainments. One who is able to lower his gaze in front of a women. One who only speaks of reasons and rationality while putting his emotions aside. One who speaks only for the good of others without priorities. One who keep his daily deeds high and clean. Ono who is trained physically, spiritually, and intellectually. These individual commit everything in the way of 'tarbhiah' and 'dakwah'. I read about these people.. And some are even in front of me. Can I be a similar person? Can I live the same way of living? Can I reach that sort of level? Where doubts would always wonder and whisper in my mind.. It's almost like I do not believe in myself enough. For someone who have commit many crime and hurt many feelings..

Between two worlds.. I am at a pit stop. Should I freshen up and continue racing. Or climb up my machine and resist driving....................

Hargai Ia Sementara Masih Ada

Kehadapan ustaz yg saya hormati…saya tidak tahu..di mana ingin saya mulakan bicara ini… tetapi saya mesti menceritakan kisah ini pada ustaz supaya hati saya tenang dan mungkin dapat meredakan rasa berdosa saya selama ini…ustaz mungkin tidak kenal saya namun saya mengenali ustaz..tak mengapalah kalau ustaz tak kenal saya pun… Ustaz saya merupakan seorang lelaki yang mempunyai memori kehidupan lampau yg cukup menyedihkan.. Harap ustaz tidak bosan mendengarnya..

Saya merupakan seorang suami kepada seorang isteri yg amat baik dan setia.namun ustaz..,saya tidak pernah menghargai kasih dan sayangnya yang dicurahkan kepada saya kerana pada waktu itu mata hati saya terlalu buta untuk membezakan yang mana kaca dan permata. Ustaz saya telah berkahwin dengan seorang wanita yang pada asalnya tidak saya cintai.dia seorang yang sederhana pada segi paras rupanya.,seorang yang tidak pandai bergaya.,tetapi kuat pegangan agamanya..,bertudung labuh,bersopan santun..,baik budi bahasanya.,Untuk pengetahuan ustaz perkahwinan kami ini segala-galanya diaturkan oleh keluarga dalam keadaan saya masih belum bersedia.

Ustaz terus terang saya katakan yang saya sudahpun mempunyai teman wanita yg jauh lebih cantik daripada isteri saya dan kami amat menyintai antara satu sama lain..cumanya saya akui teman wanita saya ini agak sosial sedikit dan tidak menutup aurat.Ustaz, selepas berkahwin dengan isteri saya itu jiwa saya menjadi kacau dan keliru.saya amat marah kepada isteri saya.kerana pada anggapan saya kerana dialah saya tidak dapat bersama kekasih saya yg amat saya cintai itu. Ustaz sepanjang kehidupan kami.,saya selalu sahaja mencari jalan untuk menyakitkan hatinya.dengan harapan kami akan bercerai setelah dia tak tahan dengan kerenah saya.,namun rupanya ustaz…isteri saya ini adalah wanita yang penyabar.pernah saya tidak balik ke rumah..dengan tujuan isteri saya akan membenci saya.tetapi selama mana lambat sekalipun saya balik.,dia akan tunggu saya dan bila saya masuk ke dalam rumah.dia menyambutnya dengan mesra dan bertanya:“Abang dah makan…? Nak saya panaskan lauk dan hidangkan makanan?”

Ustaz… pernah suatu hari saya menampar mukanya.apabila dia bertanya pada saya…”Abang dah solat?…abang tak pernah solat ke? Paannggg..!!satu tamparan kuat saya berikan di pipinya.perasaan geram.,marah., dan rasa terhina bercampur ego yg menggila…Bengkak pipinya., dia menangis terisak-isak.saya ingatkan mungkin dia akan membenci saya..tetapi rupa-rupanya…..dia bersabar dan melayan saya sebagai suaminya.

Ustaz pernah suatu hari.,dia ingin bermanja dengan saya,membawa sepinggan nasi goreng yang digoreng untuk saya.pada masa itu saya sedang berbual mesra dengan kekasih saya di dalam handphone..ketika dia ingin menyuapkan nasi kemulut saya,saya tolak pinggan sehingga jatuh berkecai bersama nasi goreng yang digoreng khas untuk saya., dengan linangan air mata dia mengutip setiap butiran nasi goreng yang berhamburan ke lantai…

Ustaz saya bertambah lupa daratan…saya habiskan masa berhibur dan berlibur dengan kawan-kawan di luar dengan harapan isteri saya akan lebih sakit hati dan meninggalkan saya rupanya dia tetap tabah dan bersabar..pernah juga saya menendang badannya kerana dia menasihati saya supaya tidak mencari hiburan dengan jalan yang dimurkai Allah. Ustaz….pernah suatu ketika apabila keluarganya datang bertanyakan khabar dia kata dia amat bahagia bersama saya…tapi sebenarnya hanya saya yang tahu dia berbohong.

Ustaz suatu hari saya telah diberikan balasan oleh Allah.dan saya kira itu adalah balasan apabila saya terlibat dengan kemalangan…tulang paha saya patah dan dan sememangnya saya tidak berdaya utk bangun.hampir lima bulan saya terbaring tidak berdaya..,ketika itulah isteri saya menjaga saya dengan setia sekali.berak kencing saya dia tadahkan dia basuhkan tanpa ada rungutan atau perasaan genyi mahupun geli.Dialah yang memandikan saya…menggosok badan saya dan memakaikan pakaian utk saya..bila saya mengerang sakit kerana kaki yang bengkak di tengah malam berdenyut-denyut sakitnya dialah yang bangun dalam keadaan mengantuk dan terhoyong hayang kerana tidak cukup tidur..dia datang kepada saya dan menyapukan ubat krim dan memberi saya ubat penahan sakit sehingga saya rasa lega dan tertidur..tetapi isteri saya tidak tidur hingga ke pagi.., risau saya mengerang kesakitan lagi.

Ustaz isteri sayalah yang menyuapkan saya makan., dia sendiri tidak akan makan melainkan setelah saya kenyang.dia akan membuatkan makanan dan minuman mengikut kehendak dan selera saya. Bila saya kenangkan kembali.,sewaktu saya terlantar sakit tiada siapa pun dari teman-teman yang setia berjoli dengan saya dahulu datang menghulurkan bantuan apatah lagi melawat.kekasih saya..lagi lah..apabila dapat tahu saya kemalangan dan tidak boleh bangun dia tidak mahu lagi menghubungi saya malah meminta hubungan kami diputuskan..kononnya saya suami orang..huhu..

Sekarang baru dia kata saya suami orang.dulu.,dialah yang menghasut dan memberikan harapan pada saya untuk membenci isteri saya..ketika itu barulah saya sedar betapa besarnya kesilapan dan dosa yang telah saya lakukan.Ustaz…..saya…kasar..kejam dan zalim kepada isteri yg menyayangi saya.besarnya dosa saya.,amat menyesal rasanya.

Ustaz….ketika saya boleh berjalan sedikit demi sedikit dan saya beransur pulih.,isteri saya jatuh sakit.badannya menjadi kurus kering.,tiada selera makan..,terbaring..tak bermaya..kata doktor yang merawatnya isteri saya jadi begitu kerana terlalu letih dan susah hati….hati saya menjadi sebak kerana saya tahu sayalah puncanya. Ustaz kesihatan isteri saya makin teruk..mukanya makin pucat…tetapi dia tetap senyum.saya menangis sepuas-puasnya memohon ampun dan maaf di atas kejahatan yg pernah saya lakukan terhadapnya.dia hanya tenang dan menjawab dia telah lama maafkan saya….”Abang saya dah lama maafkan abang…saya sayangkan abang”.berderai airmata saya hancur hati saya.,pilu bercampur sebak yang amat sangat diikuti dengan perasaan menyesal. Ustaz selepas itu isteri saya di masukkan ke dalam wad kecemasan.,saya menjaganya setiap hari.saya belai rambutnya saya kucup dahinya…sambil airmata ini tidak berhenti—henti mengalir.

”Jangan menangis bang….bukan salah abang…..mungkin saya ni yang tidak pandai mengambil hati abang…” Berdentum….seolah-olah hati saya disambar halilintar…saya menangis lagi sehingga keluarga yang datang melawat terpaksa menenangkan saya..malah ada yang memuji saya kerana beranggapan saya suami yang amat menyayangi isteri…ternyata pujian itu bagaikan sumpahan utk saya.

Ustaz…..isteri saya ada berkata.,dia meminta maaf kerana tidak dapat melahirkan zuriat untuk saya kerana masanya utk menghadap ilahi semakin hampir.saya meraung..merayu kepadanya agar tidak meninggalkan saya.tapi katanya.,setiap yang hidup pasti akan mati dan dia meminta saya menjaga diri baik-baik kerana dia tidak boleh lagi menjaga saya.ustaz..saya menangis …sehingga saya menjadi lemah apabila dia mengucapkan kata kata terakhir itu. Ustaz…tepat jam 3.00 ptg setelah dua minggu berada di hospital…isteri saya telah pergi meninggalkan saya selama-lamanya..dengan bebanan dosa dan jutaan kesalan yang menerjah hati ini saya meraung semahu-mahunya….menyesal di atas kekasaran yg pernah saya lakukan.

Ustaz jiwa saya tak tenteram…apakah Allah akan mengampunkan dosa saya ini…? apakah kekasaran dan kejahatan serta layanan buruk saya kepada isteri akan diampunkan Allah….tolonglah ustaz saya amat menderita…..jiwa saya terseksa… Mungkin ini hukuman yang patut saya terima.Masih terngiang di telinga saya pesanan akhir isteri saya.. ”abang…jagalah diri baik-baik….jangan lupa tunaikan solat..,berbuat baik..,takutlah kepada Allah….dan jika bertemu dengan insan bernama isteri….jangan berkasar dengannya sayangilah dirinya.”

Ustaz sebelum isteri saya menghembuskan nafas terakhir…dia ada meninggalkan satu nota dan sebuah lagu untuk saya dengar dan hayati.lagu itu adalah harapan yang dia impikan dari saya tetapi tidak sempat dia nikmati..kasih sayang yang terkandung dalam lagu itu dia harapkan dari saya….

Di dalam nota itu dia menulis “Abang..dengarlah lagu ini dan ingatlah saya selalu…Dahulu…saya senantiasa menanti abang pulang ke rumah…Saya teringin sangat nak makan bersama abang…..mendengar cerita abang….menyambut abang pulang dari kerja….bergurau dan bermanja dengan abang…..memeluk abang ketika tidur…..tetapi semuanya mungkin tidak sempat bagi saya…jaga diri…sayang abang….selamanya.”

Ustaz..saya harap ustaz tak marah saya meluahkan perasaan begini panjang pada ustaz….kerana inilah pesan isteri saya sekiranya saya merasa terlalu sedih…ceritakanlah pada ustaz dia tahulah apa nak buat utk tenangkan abang… Ustaz….saya harap cerita saya ini dijadikan teladan bagi mereka yg bergelar suami….sayangilah isteri anda….selama mana anda berpeluang utk berbuat begitu…janganlah terjerumus dengan kesilapan yg saya lakukan…pasti anda akan menyesal tak sudah… Terima kasih ustaz….doakan saya……


Sedih dan sebak bila baca luahan perasaan hamba Allah ini….memang saya banyak beri ceramah motivasi dan mendengar banyak masalah masyarakat yg dihantar pada saya dan inilah yang paling sedih.yg pernah saya baca… tambahan pula lagu yg telah ditujukan isterinya itu bila dengar bertambah sebak…..dengarkanlah senikatanya…….tapi tak boleh upload lagu tu dibawah copyright.. Pesanan dari saya: kita cuma akan menghargai sesuatu bila kita dah kehilangannya..hargailah ia sementara masih ada….Semoga roh isterinya ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang yang beriman, sungguh berbahagia penduduk langit menyambut kehadiran isteri solehah sepertinya..Semoga si suami itu mendapat ketenangan sakinah yang ia cari selepas ini..amiin ya Rabbi..

Artikel di atas adalah kiriman Us Sharipudin A Kadir ke ISMA YDP-Net
Ustaz Halim


Artwork : BlackPav Kurogane
Story by : Aliff Asyraf
Artwork by a childhood friend of mine who do not want to be known by his real name.
Playing our role with our own talent, even if its not much :)

I-Medik's Motivational Talk

Looking into the future

And say (O Muhammad ) "Do deeds! Allah will see your deeds, and (so will) His Messenger and the believers. And you will be brought back to the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen. Then He will inform you of what you used to do."
At-taubah verse 105

I used to think that what makes a successful person lies in his motivations. True. But more precisely, believe what drives that motivation is his will, for what he wants to do, what he want to become in life. We see kids running by. And it hits us when all of us had experience that time in our life. Where one would shout out dreams loudly. Without shame, without hesitation. Naive, but still, with plenty of determinations. Plenty of will. A burning heart that is ready to burn anything..

To graduate from high school, graduate from campus life. Get a job, get a car, get a house, get married, have myself a family on my own. This is how most ordinary people would walk their life.. And what will come after all those things? Do you want to walk that same road and end your life just as anybody else? Or do you want something more? Do you want to be extraordinary?

As for me, I have nothing to hide about my aims, my dreams.. We all have our specialties. I'm just a guy that is trying to maximally benefit his. To be special the way he is..

Still a long way to go before I can become a true motivator. A true da'i whom is able to touch hearts with words.. I've came a long way.. And for how far I've came, I wish to keep going.. Keep dreaming, keep working for that one day.. And with this much effort to offer, humbly, faithfully, hoping for Allah blessings...

One Great Speech

I'll be there.. I want to play that role.. I'll be delivering one very soon InsyaAllah....

Because You Were Chosen

The world is experiencing globalization. An era where pluralism creeps it way into the hearts of the new generations. What does being a Muslim means to you? How do you value it's teaching? Ever believed that faith were able to changed one's life?

Have you ever heard the story of Umar Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him). How different he were before and after accepting Islam. He was a man of fearless courage and determination, feared and respected in Makkah, and until then a bitter opponent of the new religion. It was revealed that the Prophet once raised his hands in prayer and said : "O Allah! Give strength to Islam especially through either of two men you love more : 'Umar bin Al-Khattab or Abu Jahl bin Hasyim" Umar merited that privilage. From there, various contradictory emotions were conflicting with one another in his soul. His heart hangs in the balance between good and evil. On one hand, he persisted in his violence against the believers, and on the other, greatly admired the stamina of the Muslim and their dedication to faith. However, the deep-seated dark tradition and blind pride left by his forefathers overshadowed the truth he felt inside him. He was constantly denying it.

It was not long after which he embraced Islam. Though once a arch-enemy of The Prophet Muhammad SAW and his strife in the way of the call, he made himself real triumph for the cause. Crowned to become the second "Amirul Mukminin" after the Muhammad SAW passed away. And if it wasn't for his great respect for Abu bakar As-Siddiq (May Alllah be pleased with him) who had accepted the faith before him, he was to be crowned the first to lead the muslims. Notice how Islam honoured him. Notice how Islam affected him. Between the two names that the Prophet mentioned in his prayers, Allah answered by his Guidance upon him.

Have you ever heard the story of Zahir bin Haram. A bedouin with extreme poverty having neither whealth nor good-lookings. Once the Prophet SAW saw Zahir in the marketplace selling his merchandise and hugged him from behind. Zahir became scared and began shouting "let me go! Who is this?". But upon seeing the Prophet behind him, he became calm. So the prophet began to joke with him by saying to the public "Who would buy this servant!? Who will buy him!?" Thereupon Zahir pictured himself and felt sad. He then said "You will find be unmarketable, O Messenger of Allah." In reply, the Prophet SAW said sweetly "But you are not so with Allah. You are very precious to Him"

Try to imagine, a bedouin without whealth and good-lookings. The Prophet loved him for who he were as a believer. He faith granted him rank in the sight of Allah. In our case, how much blessings had Allah granted us. Someone with a home to live, with delicious meals waiting on the dining table every night. With nice clothing to wear. With educations ever since we were little. Yet somehow we will unappreciative of ourselve. Cursing our short-comings and moaning to be someone else. Someone we're not. We wish to have greater properties, bigger incomes, and better incomes. When the only thing we need to be precious to Allah is to believe and turn it to an act of Workship. Live the way Allah have told us to. Enjoy your life for it is brief and there is no time in it to be anguish.

As Muslims, do believe that we are always special. We all are. Of course life had never been sugars and rainbows. We had our setbacks. Unorganized, failure to commit, tight career schedule, too busy studying, unsupportive surroundings, negative assumptions, uncertainties, families even womens. Tested upon our weakest attribute in the weakest possible conditions. Somehow still able to be steadfast in this path. When smiles are turned to frowns. cheerfullness to depression, and perseverence to anger, whether to endure, or ease away, one would forever be in a state of choices.

وَنَفْسٍ وَمَا سَوَّاهَا

by the soul and WHO shaped it

فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَاهَا

and inspired it with its sin and its piety,

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّاهَا

prosperous is he who purified it,

وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّاهَا
and failed is he who buried it!
(Ash-Shams verse 7-10)

You are strong enough to choose good, just as Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) did. You are special the way you are, just as Zahir (May Allah be pleased with him) the way he is.

And when challenges gets overwhelming, there lies friends with a hand to hold and a fire to keep struggling. Islam made it's way to our heart, changing our attitude, our way of living.. How did you get this far? Because you were CHOSEN, so keep going...